Chapter 4: The déjà vu

Almost an year ago it was this very night of the awards dinner that had got Noah the love of his life whose soul now rest peacefully somewhere that he does not know. This night had been the very reason of his happiness for the last one year or so because it had not brought recognition to his efforts as a businessman but it was the same night when love had step into his life unintentionally.

Noah was reluctant to go to the dinner because he still had not forgotten Natalia and feared that her memories might come to haunt him again. He was standing at the doorway of the ballroom for the past fifteen minutes thinking that should he step into the ballroom or should be step back a lot of guests during the mean time had passed him and some stared back at him with curious looks as he tried to make an effort to gather some courage and after long at last gathering all the courage that Noah could he stepped into the hotel ballroom where the awards were to take place and saw a sea of people in black, men in tuxedos and women in beautiful dresses.

It had been a few faint steps into the room that people took notice of his presence and a silent murmur echoed from one end of the ballroom to another, people by far were thinking on the same page as he was, will he get over everything that has happened to in his immediate past.

After meeting a few people, Noah with a hurried look tried to find his secretary but before he could made any progress in the frenzy of people surrounding him, she found her way towards him, was already beside him and showed him the way towards the table where they were to be seated which was right at the front.

Noah rushed towards it blindly before anyone else could catch up with him but in trying to do so collided with someone and before he knew he was on the floor with the lady he had collided with on top and smiling.

‘Watch it will you’ she said with a sparkle in her eyes.

‘Oh sorry!’, Noah said after making a complete fool out of himself and stood up at once and helping the lady to stand up as well.

‘Hey, I’m Angie’, as she stood up and tired to get her dress into the right posture but before Noah could say anything what he saw was enough for him to be shocked.

‘I just moved to town’, she said while still trying and struggling to get her look right and perfect that she had hoped to be before her little collision with Noah.

‘Noah Brook’s’, he could only mutter this and then moved to the position in the ballroom followed by his secretary where he was seated right in front of the table.

‘How could this be happening again?’ Noah’s senses quickened.

‘This is all a joke it can not be happening how is it possible and why is she calling herself Angie that is Natalia. Am I hallucinating or what, what is wrong with me, why are all these people glaring at us?’

All these questions were running in his mind like wild horses. He was perplexed and did not know what to do he was still lost in these thoughts that the same girl emerged from the back and said,

‘Can I sit here Mr. Brooks?’ she had the same gleeful life in her eyes as Natalia did and Noah was still shocked to bits that what was going on with him.

‘Please’, his secretary got up and positioned the chair for her about two chairs away from where Noah was sitting, she was too in a shock as were almost all those who knew Natalia and Noah for the first time looked at Angie up close and he could not believe his eyes he was still thinking that it’s a mere hallucination rather than anything real.

It was a long and hard night for Noah all because of the déjà vu effect on him by the collision with Angie as she not only made him think he was out of his mind but also reminded him all those beautiful things that he had forgot about Natalia from the little things he loved to care about to the beautiful memories of them, everything was haunting him again.

Chapter 3: Remembering Natalia

For Noah life was coming back to normal quickly. His business was growing, his body was feeling good after the horrific accident but one thing amidst of all this was that he was constantly feeling lonely. Clair was the only one person that he was really comfortable with but that too was coming with a price. Noah usually a self centered person was not the same anymore, he valued things in his life that had never mattered to him before the accident.

His routine had become more and more monotonous but the one thing he used to like about this monotony was the evening stroll that he used to take at the central park which not only refreshed his memories of the romantic moments he had with the love of his life but also helped him to observe the various emotions of the people who were in the park with their loved ones.

From mothers cuddling with their new born babies to the families enjoying the late afternoon time, from friends enjoying the pranks on each others to couples having soul finding gossips, it used to be as if he had stepped into a world with nothing to lose it used to be as an antidote to the poison that the life had injected him in the past year or so.

The moment he spend there were precious to him because to him the part was his little paradise and he had scheduled his life in a manner that he would never miss out on the time he spent at the park because it was the one place he could find peace in. This park had its share of importance in his life too because this was the place where he had used to spend time with Natalia and spending time there used to make him realize that she still was and for ever will be the most important thing in his life. It was for this very reason he was ready to spend the rest of his life happily with her memories being his only companion.

Natalia was a journalist by profession and had a very simple yet charming appearance. The relationship that kindred among them got on the worst possible foot that a relationship could ever start off but yet it bolstered into a perfect relationship that had a meaning to it but…

Sitting in the park Noah still remembered the uncanny way she had met him the first time at a function where he had received the young entrepreneur of the year award and how awkwardly while trying to run after a very quick interview of his Natalia had stumbled and fallen right at him and before he could get out of the way he was lying on the floor beneath her. A silent smile sprung on his face while he remembered all of that but the feeling hit him hard as he came into the grim reality that she was no more. He stood up at once got his coat and started to stroll out of the park as the surroundings were getting to him and he was missing her more than ever.

‘It‘s not going to work like this Noah, you cannot miss your appointments like this’ Clair had a stern look on her face, Noah had missed his last two appointments with Clair and had not even tried to get in contact with her about why he had done so. Clair was still waiting for his response but Noah did not say anything and was sitting so silent in his chair that it was freaking out Clair.

‘What has happened Noah is everything all right?’ she asked him but there was no response what so ever from Noah, who gently stood up and walked towards the window, after gazing out for some time Noah looked back at Clair with a smile and said,

‘Yeah everything is all right, it’s as if I am finally feeling human again after such a long time in my life. After mom and dad I had no one else to look forward too except my maid Martha who raised me in a definite manner so that one day I could take the place of my father ‘. He paused for some time and then settled in the seat in front of the desk where Clair was sitting.
‘But when Natalia walked into my life it was a beautiful experience for me. It was really nice to know that there was someone for whom I cared and that care to me was more than anything in my life until recently I realized that it’s all lost’ he frowned painfully yet the look on his face was so determined that showed he was ready to move on.

Clair was seeing improvements in Noah already and attributed it to his strong will and definite character. Long after he had left Clair was just curious that does such true love exist in the materialistic world but she was confused about the answer to this very simple question then she realized what she thought about love, a mere fulfillment of needs from others, is more than that.

‘Sir, you’ve got an invitation to the annual entrepreneurs’ awards dinner’ said Noah’s secretary as he walked into his office followed by her. He took the invitation letter from her, moved to his chair and opened it.

‘Day after tomorrow, anything scheduled for that day’

‘No sir, nothing yet, do you want me to reserve you a table at the awards’ she said.

Noah nodded and she went out of his office, he had a special reason for going to these awards. They were special to him because he had met Natalia for the first time there and by attending them this time around he wanted to freshen up those memories when they first met.

Chapter 2: Past One Year

For the first time in about two months he was standing at the doorstep of his apartment that he had gravely missed while he was hospitalized. He stood there for more than half an hour looking at his name engraved at the door because he did not want to enter. He knew that as soon as he will step in to the apartment it will remind him of all the memories that he had been trying to forget to make a new start in his life.

Yet with a very weaken will he opened the lock and entered the apartment, it took him sometime to soak into the environment he had been so very familiar with but now with a very drastic change she was not there anymore in his life, the past one year of his life had been such that he would trade it for anything if he had a chance to do so.

Noah Brookes, a young and energetic owner of a very popular group of companies, was all alone in the midst of a whirlpool of thoughts, emotions and a sore body which was still recovering from the effects of what happened. Slowly and gradually he started to gather things and was putting them away so that he could start a fresh rather than living in the past.

Days passed away one after another but he was not being able to come into grip with the situation. Some accident tends to take a lot out of a person, no matter how well determined he or she is, the affects of the factors leading to that accident actually dashes the hopes and resolute determination of even the strongest of them. Noah was going through this phase as well the breakdowns that he was suffering from where getting regular as he was starting to get back to normal life.

After returning to his normal routine life mostly he used to be lost every now and then which was affecting not only his work but his life in general as well which made him request his doctor to refer him someone who he could meet up for counseling and that led him to Dr. Clair Albert, a young psychotherapist who had made her name over the past couple of years as keen listener and more over a therapist who could heal almost any mournful memories. Noah was reluctant to contact Dr. Clair but eventually when the burden of past got to him he fixed an appointment.

‘Noah Brookes, I have an appointment with Dr. Clair for today at ten am’, he told the young girl who was sitting at the reception.

She looked into the computer that was in front of her to confirm the appointment and looked at him with a smile of her face,

‘Sir, Dr. Clair will see you shortly please have a seat’, then showed him the way to the waiting corner, it took a while for her to return to let him know that it was his turn to meet the therapist.

Noah did not know what made him come to her clinic but one thing he was assured of that when he leaves the office he would have left a lot of his burden behind. The twenty-five steps that he took from where he was waiting till the doctor’s clinic room where by the far the most convincing thing he had done so far after the accident, it felt good about taking each and every one of those twenty-five steps but he did not know what made him enjoy that little journey of his.

When Noah entered the clinical room he saw a very different environment than what he was expecting and that was a pleasant surprise for him and it calmed his nerves a bit too, he sat at the first comfortable chair that he saw and waited anxiously for the Dr. Clair.

‘You seem to be little confused with the kind of purpose you have filled in the forms’, a gentle voice said as a side door opened which took him by surprise.

‘What kind of confusion are you talking about?’ he asked.

‘Mr. Noah do you want to forget about what has happened in the past one year or do you want to keep that as a part of your life and stride forward’, Clair asked as she seated beside Noah.

‘Is there any difference because to me I think striding forward can never be done if you have not forgotten you past’, he answered back sharply.

‘Oh! I forgot I’m Clair Albert by the way nice to know your thoughts’, she said and then turned her attention to a file that had been in her hands when she walked into the room.

After a small pause she again spoke up,

‘Noah, I have been going through what you had written in the forms and what I think is that you need a little time off from this city, your work etc because at times to forget something you have to make little changes and compromises at different levels. Yet counseling can help you this far that is would enable you to lessen some of your burden but changing the environment would be essential in the long run’, she saw that he was listening to her with concentration and that made her realize that it would not be as simple as she thought it would turn out to be.

‘As I was saying Noah these sessions might work out for you but the contribution I want from your part will be of the highest levels’

‘Like what do you want me to do’, he asked her.

‘For starters tell me how you interpret what has happened in the last twelve months of your life’, she asked him with a very purposeful tone.

After a moment of silence he just smiled at her, stood up and took few steps towards the window and said,

‘When you were a child doctor did you have any possession that you always kept besides you where ever you went I mean was there something that you had always kept so close to your heart that if it went away or someone took it you would have fought for it till the very last of your breath’

Clair looked puzzled at what he asked and thought over it for a few moments and then nodded in confirmation, he took that nod as a yes and carried on,

‘How would you have felt in someone had taken it away and you realized that it was gone and it would never return ever again’, he asked with a very determined look on his face to prove something to her.

‘A feeling on despair or despondency to say the least’, she replied.

‘That is how I can relate to the past one year of my life it. It had given me a reason to laugh, live, love and then with one swift blow it gave am all the reasons of hatred’, he stopped when he saw a confused look on her face, smiled at it and then seated back in his chair and explained.

‘Many times Clair there are certain things that one cannot have control over, when love comes into your life it takes away all that once you are proud of and leaves behind nothing but anguish and sorrow that tends to take away inch by inch the very essence of life and that is left behind is nothing more than a few sore memories’.

He slowly stood up got his jacket and then walked slowly towards the door but as he took his steps slowly he realized that Clair was deep into some thoughts. He approached her and put his hand over her shoulder and shook her up,

‘It’s time for me to leave doc see you around on the next appointment but it was nice talking to you’, he said with the usual bright smile on his face. She frantically moved and said,

‘But I’m not done with you yet you have to tell me more’, ignoring what she said it moved towards the door then halted and turned back towards her and said,

‘If I stayed back to tell you more, you will have to pay me then and you can’t afford my fee trust me’, he said it arrogantly but with a smile on his face and that was what Clair realized and both laughed about it for a few seconds and then he walked out and shut the door behind him.

Chapter 1: The Accident

He barely had enough strength left in his body that he could only open his eyes and move his head once, as he lay in his car partly in it and partly outside the windscreen, to see himself drained in blood from the head to toe and then passed out.
He could feel his body being carried away on something and as he tried hard to look up and see what was going but was pushed back so as to be in a more comforting position on whatever he was being carried away by a pair of gentle hands and he could not make out who it was, then passed out again in that constant upbeat yelling to clear the way for the incoming patient.
Finally when he came back into his sense amid feeling the rustic pain in almost every part of his body, he tried to move his head a bit to see where he is but could not muster energy to do so he decided against the idea and laid his head down again to wait for someone to come to him. The wait seemed ages to him as the pain was slowly creeping into his head which was still full of the horrific accident that he had been which seemed a few moment ago and made him groan in agony and pain together for help. Hearing the cries a team of medical attendants’ rushed in and tried to calm him down but could not do so which prompted them to give a sedative shot which made him float back into the arms of gleeful sleep without any agony or pain.
Feeling better once again he tried to get up and sit in a position to see the surroundings and he was surprised to see the strength back into his arm with help of which he got up and sat on his bed and for the first time after the accident was able to somewhat take control of his body physically. He was still in these bewildered thoughts when a nurse walked into the room with the medicines tray in her hand and a smile appeared on her face when she saw him sitting in the bed and said,
‘Good to see you up sir!’
‘How long have I been here and where am I?’, he asked her.
‘You have been here for the past two weeks and you are safe now, the condition you came in many of us didn’t believe that you will make it but sir it’s remarkable that you are up by yourself now. Let me get the doctor ‘, she put the tray with medicines on to the table besides his bed and went out of the room.
After a while a well dressed man stepped into the room with horn rimmed glasses and without hesitation said,
‘So finally you are up, that’s a positive sign’
‘Yeah it seems like moments ago I was in that horrific car accident’ he said tentatively.
‘What happened is now history and I would like you to forget about it and start a fresh life that in my view is a gift after the condition you were brought in here’, doctor said while smiling at him and going through his medical file that was attached to his bed & then examined him.
As soon as the doctor left the room he was again into the adherent zone with himself and it was bothering him a lot, he was not able to close his eyes because it not only reminded him of the horrific accident but also the reasons that led to the lapse of concentration while driving which resulted in banging his car and now he was all broken emotionally as well as physically.
Most of his coming days at the hospital were painstaking and weird, many times he had crumbled under the pressure of his past getting to him and used to break down very badly but yet he used to face them resolutely because he had made his mind to walk out of this hospital bed as a changed man and had to prove this point to many.
The thing that used to deteriorate his determination was the fact that it had been a month now and no one among all the people he knew came over to enquire about him but yet he used to tell himself by making it strength for himself that he had to live for himself.

Bwritings!

I for long had been eyeing to make a new blog for my personal writings and here i am with it finally and hope i work for it too